There was a giggled conversation between cousins as paper dolls were dressed and arranged. The question of who your favorite princess is floated about. I remember listening to my sisters and cousins list their reasons for liking Bell, Snow White, Princess Jasmine, or Sleeping Beauty and trying to figure out who my favorite princess was. Why was I having such a difficult time deciding.
As the question tumbled over and over in my mind, I realized it was because I didn't really like the princesses at all. As an adult I can understand the lessons that fairy tales and princess stories are trying to teach. But not all the lessons taught are good. One of the lessons that has always grated on me is the idea that someone will save you. Waiting for a 'prince' to give you some magical kiss that will make everything 'all better' and resetting the course of your life has always seemed so ridiculous.
Impractical is another word that comes to mind. Waiting for someone to swoop in and take away our pain can lead to suffering longer than if we were to take matters into our own hands. I was 11 when the pain and darkness gripped me so tightly, I would mentally scream for anyone to save me. My pleas were met with silence. The silence taught me more than any fairy tale or princess story could. No one is going to save me. At least no one will consistently save me.
I know what you are thinking. What about God? You're right. God is there and he is always going to provide the tools we need to survive, but sometimes the tools he gives us are internal. When it comes to protecting and saving, I think a lot of times God wants us to trust that he has provided us with everything we need. That include our brains and bodies. We need to use our intelligence and strength to stand up and fight back.
Escaping into the fantasy of a prince or knight in shining armor is fine for a child, but when that mentality carries over into adulthood it becomes highly problematic. This mentality leads to one not taking responsibility for one's actions or inactions. These are the people who believe nothing is ever their fault. Life happens to them and any negative consequences are because they are the victim. Truthfully, you can be locked in a tower and supplies limited, but if all you ever do is curl up and wait for a knight or prince to save you then you are only perpetuating the situation.
My grandmother once told me "You have to speak up for yourself. If you don't, no one else will". Be your own favorite princess. Be the hero of your own story. Waiting for a prince to come and kiss you into a new reality will leave you locked in a tower. We have to be willing to fight for ourselves. We have to be willing to slay our own dragons.
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